Week Four

"as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death II" oil and oilstick on masonite 24x48
After take this painting out to photograph last week I saw a number of places, which seriously needed to be revisited. Originally I was excited about exposing some of the support in places but upon reexamination it was clear that that was a bad idea. as you can see my touch up mainly focused on those points.


"how many way might we know Thee" oil and oilstick on birch ply 39x48
I am both attracted to and still afraid of the birch ply. I remember the first time I sat down with a piece I meditated with my eyes shut for a while and when I opened them it was most clear to me that the board was perfect as it was. Who was I to change it. I believe you can see that balance in this painting as well like the ones I did before; I have tried to preserve the grain in places by using broad washes heavily diluted with turpentine. Working with a textural support in a spiritual mindset reiterates the Trust required in the human-God relationship. Even after sitting in awareness of that of God in the support and that of God in the paint and that of God within my self, I still hesitate before I make my first mark. What if I don't make the mark God wants me to make and why does God want me to make that mark any way and is that God who is compelling me and how does this reflect upon my past work and what is the significance of starting a painting for an independent study around a single event if I have know idea what I am doing now in this moment with paint? but I did Trust some how, I had faith and it does relate to my experience and my ongoing dialog concerning it. ain't it amazing


"Jacob wrestled the Angel of the Lord" oil on masonite 24x36
I don't have much to say about this right now. It's a work in progress and it will be a depiction of Jacob wrestling the angle of the Lord in Time Square NY. I was read my journal the other day and I saw a note about this as an idea for an etching, which I never did. part of my larger purpose at that point was to place biblical stories in a contemporary context in order to bring greater meaning to a contemporary audience. I will say more in the weeks to follow.

Week three

"as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death" oil and oilstick on masonite 24x48
This image came out of a worshipful attempt to return to my experience. I didn't know who the figure was in the middle when I painted it, although I am now fairly certain now that it is me. If you read Romans 6:3-5 I believe there is a striking parallel with the symbolism in the painting. "Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. 5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection." Note the parallels between death and baptism, and unity through resurrection.

"Do NOT chase the OOO! and AAH!" oil and oil stick on masonite 24x 48
I don't nessaraly consider this a painting though it is. Rather, I made this and posted this as an expression of my thought process. The gist of a conversation I had with my father after looking at "as many of us as were baptized..." was do NOT chase the OOO! and AAH! of the Divine, BUT upon seeing such splendors trace them back to their Source and reside there. Magritte notes that miss spellings and backward letter increase emphasis.







"WE are called to that State in which such experiences are posible" oil and oilstick on birch ply 39x48
Considering the previous two paintings and my thought processes surrounding them it would stand that this painting would move in a different direction. Needless to say when, after sitting with the birch ply for some time, I started seeing figures with a striking resemblance to some of my early drawing, I was surprised. I really expected this painting to go visually in a totally new direction; one, which clearly was not a return to my experience. But our ooo and aah experiences of the Divine, much like sacred text, support us insofar as they call us back to that center from whence they came. A more literal expression of my experience accordingly makes sense if it places the emphasis on the figure meditating rather than the looming man with the sword. Thus the use of arrows and words, which brakes all basic rules of composition, rightly create a hyper focal point, and keeps the viewers attention where it belongs. side note, I like how the arrows create more depth in an other wise flattish composition.

letting go, losing fear oil and oil stick on masonite 24x18
I have been looking at Jean Michael Basquiat's brush marks and his use of line he is so bold and fearless is energy is left on the canvass. after my feelings of timidness surrounding my writing of words on "WE are Called to that state", and the one where I wrote word over the sword, it felt quite clear to me that I needed to find a way to loosen up and become more fearless like Basquiat.

I wish to be a flint mapper of Oil paint
to fight the medium
is to fail
or the support
or Source
an absolute removal of self is not required
If we consider that the
Source is God
and
Cod hath made the support
and medium
as well as my had
it is not contradiction that my influence would remain
for (I) as the medium
my action are a prerequisite to any creation at all
(as is the presence of God
and the support
and medium)

this is not a serious painting, as in a painting which follows my themes and purposes for painting in this class. but is was an fundamental stepping stone to get to my next piece.

I've shared a document with you:

"come Here with me, close thy eyes and Trust" oil on birch ply 39x48
where to start. After I put my support up I started writing in graphite on it. Reminder and prayers:
I heard
'How many time must I take you down form that cross
You come to me as a sacrifice
But I made you free

'Continually renewed immediacy
not receding memories of Divine Touch
lies at the base of religious life' TRK

Memories of profound
imediacey of the Lord
serves us only so far
as it calls us back to
NEW INTIMACY

Continuing in the same vain as before I wanted to call people into that space I was in just before I saw the green person with sword. so I centered myself and closed my eyes. this is my attempt to represent what I saw when my eyes were closed.

It was quite hard to photograph. The finished product is quite complex texturally it changes drastically depending on the light which it is shown in. this probably relates to the use of linseed oil in the splattered-then-brushed marks which are very reflective and very in direction depending on the underlie tone.


detail of 'come Here with me'

Objective

Proposal for a four credit painting independent study:
Painting my Baptism: Inward

I am going to start by painting a spiritual experience, which on reflection I would call a Baptism:
On the floor of my parents’ house, I sat cross-legged meditating (facing SW). When I go to a deep place, like I did that day, things get fuzzy first, then they become illuminated, and finally everything comes back into an illuminated focus of sorts (solid objects may waver and colors may change and shimmer) as a great peace settles over me. However, on this occasion after I had been sitting in that deep place for some time a large, maybe armored, translucent green man with a sword rose out of the floor in front of me, raised the sword over his head and brought it down and through me. I was not scared. I sat there calmly as I watch the two halves of me fall away to the sides. In that moment I was released. There was a great settling. I was no longer aware of the green man. My outward shell, my false presentation of myself, was gone. I was starting fresh. I was baptized.
(an aside: I say baptism because, Baptism is an act of cleansing, which allows us to move forward into a new relationship with God. For Quakers the act of Baptism is always an inward one because John the Baptist said, "truly I tell you that I baptize with water but there is one who comes after me who is before me who Baptizes with the Holy spirit and Fire". The parallel between death and Baptism is almost as old as Christianity; Paul said, "don't you know that when you are Baptized unto Christ you are crucified with Him". Significant Quaker and Christians such as John Woolman experienced their moment of turning wholeheartedly to God as a death. Woolman when reflecting on angles he heard singing "John Woolman is Dead" Woolman concluded that it was his will which had died so that Gods could live within him. I light of all of that I have come to treasure this experience as one of many inward Baptisms.)

To paint this experience in a way that honestly represents my memory of the event while simultaneously making the significance of the event accessible to other viewers, I will need to balance visual realism with emotional realism. I believed Edvard Munch achieved this balance in his Golgotha, anxiety, and the Scream as well as William Blake in his The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with Sun (1805), and Ancient of Days. Munch succeeded through his expressionist style while Blake did so with his romantic realism, I plan on striving for some blend of the two. I intend, like Munch, to use unnatural placement of colors and painterly strokes, while, like Blake, maintaining depictions people and objects ‘realist’-enough to ground the viewer.

I will start by doing a number of sketches during which I will explore perspective, color and composition. I will meditate during these early stages to try and revisit the experience. As I currently envision my Baptism experience I see it in three frames, so as part of my preliminary work I need to figure out if it should be condensed to a single picture, or if it should be three separate images and if so how should they be shown together, physically touching, same wall, over, under, side by side, or able to stand on their own, codependent images. I will then move onto a larger painting (maybe 24x36 or 30x48) surface (probably masonite) and attempt a final version. I will do more finished paintings from here maybe of the same subject (depending on whether or not I am satisfied with the end result of the first finished painting). I will complete 140 hours of work over the course of the semester (or whatever is the total requirement for a 4 credit independent study.